I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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