I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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