if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
