i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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