I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
