I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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