I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
