Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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