if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
