i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
