R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
