you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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