these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
