GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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