either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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