real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
