That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
