Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
