is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
