I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
