Nicole vs. Life
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
