no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
