Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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