we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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