you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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