watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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