I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
