please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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