the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
