he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
