She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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