So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
