just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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