now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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