Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
