The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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