whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
