Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
