Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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