We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
