dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
my poor anus
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
