i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
