Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
