we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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