dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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