hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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