then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
