either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
