i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
