Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
