I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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