Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
