If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
