I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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