areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
