I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
